The Rose and Thorn Thing Is Old

Alternate Titles: I Got A Gig As A Florist, New Floral Analogies 

I recently started working at a flower shop here in Monteria. I spent this morning preparing and arranging hydrangeas, carnations, lilies, and roses. Roses are the most tedious to prepare; you have to rip off all the leaves, while carefully avoiding the thorns. You then remove the thorns by pressing your thumb against them sideways until they crack off the stem. The process does not end there; you then remove all the outer petals from the flower. These petals are called the guard petals; they are bigger and, by the time they reach the florist, they’ve been beat up by time and travel. We remove these outer petals and leave the smaller inner petals so that the rose will look perfect for the client. 

As I prepped flowers, I decided that the analogy about everyone being like a rose and every rose having its thorn is old and tired. I offer up the following analogies to replace it:

People are like roses. We have outer petals for protection, but somewhere along the road we must shed them.

People are like carnations. We look fun and fresh from the top, but are falling apart from the side.

Men are like lilies. The ones that smell the best stain the worst.

Bad friends are like hydrangeas. High maintenance and not worth it.

Living another year is like buying a dozen flowers. They can’t all be pretty.